Tuesday, July 25, 2023

It’s okay, I guess? A Tron LightCycle Run Review

 

It's finally here!  June 2023

As I mentioned in my Cosmic Rewind review, all of the Walt Disney World hype in 2023 seemed to be resting on this ride: the much delayed, and subsequently much celebrated Tron LightCycle Run.  Unlike Cosmic Rewind, I actually did have high hopes for this one.  In sharp contrast to my ultimately neutral feelings towards Guardians of the Galaxy, I do like Tron as a franchise.  I enjoyed both movies, loved the Kingdom Hearts video game levels based on Space Paranoids/The Grid, and am STILL annoyed that Tron: Uprising was cancelled before the story arc could conclude!  The idea that I could experience the coolest part of a beloved franchise (the LightCycle motorcycles) in the form of a ride type I especially enjoy (launched rollercoaster) certainly set my expectations high.

                Some reviews did tell me to temper my expectations, saying the ride was “short.”  But, well, track length and ride time are apparently about the same as that of Rock n’ Roller Coaster, which is generally not considered a “short” ride, so I didn’t let that dampen my expectations too much.

                I rode it twice, getting a boarding pass both times I was eligible.  And I have to say, it was solidly… okay.

                For once, a lot of my enjoyment of the ride actually is dependent on the IP.  When the screen dropped at the pre-show to reveal The Grid, it felt surreal to finally see one of my favorite fictional locations in-person.  After that reveal, though, everything was a bit bland.  There wasn’t anything particularly special in the queue to make it feel highly themed, or even like they’d put much effort into themeing it at all besides that initial reveal.  I liked the locker system though; it was convenient and not nearly the hassle I’d feared when I heard there was mandatory lockers for this ride.

The big reveal!  If only the rest of the queue looked this cool. June 2023

              

              As awesome as it is to be able to see yourself on an actual LightCycle, there’s also no getting around how damn awkward those ride vehicles are.  I know a major community complaint has been their lack of body type inclusivity, but I think the even bigger issue is the physical awkwardness.  I actually saw people with a wide variety of body types—including larger people—fitting on the bikes with no issues (in case you are wondering, apparently the safety restraints are more strict on leg size and not waist size, so take that into account if you’re concerned about fitting).  However, nobody, regardless of size, can mount or dismount those bikes with dignity intact.  The shape means you can’t just swing your leg over easily like an actual bike.  Especially at dismount, where you’re getting up from almost a laying-down position, there will be some one-legged hopping to get yourself out of the ride.  DEFINITELY wear shorts underneath if you’re wearing a skirt/dress.  You may need to opt for the inclusivity seats (regular roller coaster seats) if you don’t have the best range of motion in your hips/knees too.  The “body inclusivity” issue in this case is not just size, but range of motion.

                 Oh, and DO NOT WEAR SLIP-ON SHOES.  At no point do the queue videos/safety videos warn you about this, but depending on your height your feet may dangle or be in a tip-toe position when you’re on the bike (it supports you by your calves).  Luckily I was wearing sandals with a heel/ankle strap, but regular flip flops or slide-ons might have been precarious.  After riding the first time, I wondered why the same video that mentioned putting hats, bags, and phones in the locker/storage bin didn’t also mention stowing slip-on shoes.

                Yet another issue with the ride vehicle is how it oddly can restrict your view of the visual effects.  EarScout’s video about Tron (skip to about 24 mins in) said that the bikes gave you “tunnel vision” and I agree that’s somewhat the case.  You’re laying low on your belly/chest, in a position that either makes you want to look down or gives you a limited view forward, but a lot of the effects/visuals are in a wide range around and above you.  (Note that both times I rode, I was in the furthest-back row that offered bike seats--row 6 on the inclusivity train and row 7 on a non-inclusive train.  I did not make any specific row requests.)  Video evidence indicates that, possibly, the inclusivity seats may have the best view of the actual ride, due to their upright position as regular roller coaster seats!  Not designing the effects to be best seen by the primary ride vehicle format seems like a design flaw.

                Actually, “design flaw” seems to be the phrase of the day when it comes to how I’d describe Tron LightCycle Run.  I must admit, it DOES feel super short, despite all evidence showing that in actuality its runtime is equivalent to the complete-feeling Rock n’ Roller Coaster.  My theory is that this is attributable to the puzzling decision to make Tron an indoor-outdoor coaster.

                I get the value of “adding kinetic energy to the land” visually, but in terms of practical ride experience, the initial outdoor turnaround really takes away a lot.  First of all, it’s thematically inconsistent—why make a big show of digitizing us into the Grid if we just blast back out again and in immediately?  But second, and more important, it “cuts off” a significant section of ride time that could be spent on more themed elements that would make the ride feel longer.  Going out and back in makes it feel like the ride doesn’t “start” until the mid-course brake run where you reenter the indoor Grid portion.  I believe this is why people are so hell-bent on riding Tron only at night; with the dark skies and lit canopy, the outdoor portion now matches the aesthetic of the indoor portion.  It BECOMES thematically consistent at night.  Both times I rode were during daylight, so I can only speculate based on video footage.

                I’m also not sure why there was hype surrounding this coaster’s launch.  It’s probably the gentlest launch I’ve experienced on a launch coaster; Slinky Dog Dash’s two launches have more bite than this, and that’s a kid’s ride.  It’s nowhere near Rock n’ Roller Coaster’s absolute gut-punch of a start, which remains unmatched at Disney parks over 20 years since its debut.

                As for one last design flaw…well, I’m not so sure it’s a flaw, so much as a question.  Why not make this a dueling coaster?  So much of the plot is themed around you participating in a motorcycle race, and the ride does use clever mirror and lighting tricks to make it appear as if you’re racing the evil Orange Team.  But wouldn’t it make way more sense, and be way more impressive, to have there also be an ACTUAL Orange Team track, and make it a dueling/racing coaster?  That makes so much more sense that I’m confident that was certainly part of the initial pitch, and cut for budget early on.

                As for the positives…well, it’s not a bad ride.  It’s a smooth and swift roller coaster, even if it doesn’t have any particularly standout elements.  It is also very, VERY pretty; I’ve always loved the visuals of Tron Legacy, and the Grid looks as gorgeous here as ever.  The nighttime light show on the exterior is beautiful even if you’re not on the ride.  The soundtrack for the ride includes Daft Punk’s Derezzed, which I’ve wanted as a rollercoaster soundtrack pretty much since I first heard it.

                In many ways, Tron LightCycle Run is the contrast to Cosmic Rewind.  It’s the kind of ride I expected modern Disney to make: technically high quality, but with obvious flaws and cuts that make it fall short of being one of “the greats.”  Exclusive rather than inclusive.  Fun, but not euphoric.  Stylistically competent, but not quite art.  It could have been SO much better.  If it weren’t based on an IP I greatly enjoy, I probably wouldn’t have bothered riding it a second time.

It is SO pretty though (June 2023)


Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Cosmic Rewind is a Transcendent Masterpiece: an unexpected review

 

"Epcot? Is that thematically appropriate?"--me, paraphrased, June 2023

Last week, I had the very unexpected, and very fortunate privilege to visit Walt Disney World for the first time since 2017.  Naturally, besides getting to ride Tower of Terror again (and wow, do I have a LOT to write about that!), one of my priorities was to try out all the new rides that had sprung up in the six years since my last visit.

When it came to Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind, my expectations were very low.  First of all, it was a GOTG ride.  Mission Breakout set that bar very, very low with it being a bad re-skin of an existing attraction—and an attraction that I liked very much, at that.  And even at WDW, I often heard guests confusing Rewind and Breakout, saying things like “uh I think that’s just a second Tower of Terror here?”  It’s bad when guests don’t even realize what ride system is involved!  Furthermore, there seemed to be very little hype for Cosmic Rewind; all the hype seemed to be focused on Tron and how beautiful and good that coaster was, and most “hype” concerning the new Epcot Omnicoaster involved how many people vomited as a result of riding it.  And, to top it all off, Universe of Energy/Ellen’s Energy Adventure had been an Epcot classic for me, and I was hesitant to see the Guardians potentially destroying yet another thing I enjoyed.

Thus, between my hesitance surrounding the theme, Disney’s apparent lack of effective marketing to guests, and the coaster’s barf-y reputation, I basically got a boarding pass for the ride as a formality.  May as well ride it once and get it over with.

Imagine my shock when I found out that Cosmic Rewind is legitimately one of the greatest rides of all time.

Tears actually started to well up in my eyes a bit by the end, “One Way or Another” by Blondie ringing in my ears.  Not since I first rode Tower in 2002 had I gotten this feeling of “this is an art piece” while riding an attraction.  I was lost for words as I stepped off at the exit.  I didn’t expect modern Disney to be capable of producing something like this.  It is stunning.  No video can do it justice.

First off, the Omnicoaster is a wonderful achievement in ride vehicles.  I was amused at first seeing them, as they seemed to be beefed-up versions of the Journey into Imagination with Figment ride cars.  In action, they are incredible.  They deliver such a smooth, floaty feel for the coaster that it really feels like you’re flying and floating through space—and fun fantasy space, not that intense potential sickness-inducing realistic space that Mission Space delivers.  It might be the best feeling coaster around; the seats are very comfortable too, on top of their ability to deliver thrills.  You feel like you have your own roomy seat, which is great if you’re a single rider or odd-numbered party.  The seats also seem to accommodate a wide variety of guest body types, delivering on inclusivity.  The track and motions were a perfect balance of speed, thrill, and just general fun.  It’s a graceful dance made from mechanical engineering.

I’m also somewhat perplexed by the ride’s vomit-soaked reputation, as, to me, the cars’ motion seemed perfectly calculated to prevent motion sickness, orienting you correctly at the projections and tilting to balance g-forces.  It was the opposite of Mission Breakout, where the bouncing in front of the screen does make me queasy.  That said I did witness multiple people getting severely motion-sick and vomiting in the exit area.  Indeed, it was a bit of a dampener to step off of an incredible, emotional experience and immediately have to dodge other guests being sick around me.  It’s no mystery as to why the ride has a vomit-soaked reputation based on that evidence, but I’m completely confused as to what part of the ride would actually induce that in people.

Second, Cosmic Rewind clearly builds off of and improves upon technologies and rides that Disney has made before.  It is very clearly the combined evolution of Space Mountain, Ghost Galaxy, and Rock n’ Roller Coaster.  The “very large man” Celestial and his role he plays is reminiscent of the creature in Ghost Galaxy, while of course the smooth space coaster aspect itself draws from especially the Anaheim version of Space Mountain.  It likewise draws upon Rock n’ Roller Coaster’s rotating music tracklist and launched start, and the animated projected portals you fly through feel like technologically advanced descendants of Rockin’s florescent flat-painted Los Angeles.  Not since the Matterhorn-to-Expedition Everest line have I seen such a clear example of Disney both building on and improving a concept to deliver a top tier attraction.  Actually, given the multiple launches and backwards-and-forwards switch-ups, I think Rewind might draw from Everest too.  This truly felt like the culmination of a lot of Imagineering work coming together to create something beautiful.  It draws on such solid foundations, and yet is distinct and new.

I ended up riding four times throughout my trip, getting a boarding pass basically every time I was eligible for one.  In those four trips, I got three songs: “One Way or Another” by Blondie (first and third ride), “I Ran” by A Flock of Seagulls (second), and “Conga” by Gloria Estefan (fourth).  I must say, one aspect that is both a positive and negative is how the music interacts with the coaster.  While the option of different soundtracks is fun, some songs certainly fit the theme and the energy much better than others.  “One Way or Another” felt perfectly thematically appropriate with the Guardians trying to “get” the Celestial, and generally fit Peter Quill’s assertion that “No one’s gonna stop rock and roll from existing!”  “Conga,” however, was the best fit for the actual ride experience, with it matching the high energy and dance-like motions of the coaster to perfection.  “I Ran” didn’t feel like it fit the motion of the coaster at all in my opinion.

Now, onto the slightly more negative portion of the review.

I would’ve liked to have seen something besides screens/projections.  I understand why Disney didn’t want to go for a large scale animatronic, as cool as it would be to zip around a figure of The Very Large Man (such a detailed figure might be wasted on a coaster that zips by in a second, and also nobody wants a repeat of Yeti! At The Disco), but perhaps something in the pre-show—be it an animatronic or even just a physical set of a Nova Corps ship bay as the loading zone, would’ve given this a bit more oomph.  Rock n’ Roller Coaster—probably this ride’s closest relative—at least has the highly detailed alleyway loading zone/takeoff area while the rest of the queue is basic and the preshow is primarily a screen.

Then, there’s the big elephant in the room: the theme.  Not necessarily the Guardians themselves; I feel about them pretty much the same way I do about Aerosmith for Rock n’ Roller Coaster.  I don’t care about the band itself, so much as I just really like highly themed indoor coasters that blast music that matches the ride experience.  What band it is doesn’t matter too much provided the genre/theme matches the ride.  No, the MAJOR theme issue is “Does GOTG belong in Epcot?”


A ride so good, it makes you forget it's themed to a property that tries WAY too hard to act "cool"


And it’s pretty obvious the answer is “no.”

The Imagineers did an excellent job parodying an educational Epcot pavilion for the queue, and the displays are quite entertaining to watch as you wait in line.  However, that’s the thing—it’s a PARODY of an Epcot pavilion, not an actual proper one in its own right, and it feels wrong having it stand beside the still (at least vaguely) educational Test Track, Living with the Land, Soarin’, Mission Space, and The Seas with Nemo.  The only thing this educates you about is MCU lore, and as fun as that can be, it’s pretty clearly not in the same category as even Test Track 2.0’s highly fanciful take on automotive development.

The fact that Star Lord is canonically a classic Epcot aficionado is an… interesting choice too.  It’s Disney’s thin excuse for putting this ride in this park, saying that Quill wanted an exhibit in his favorite childhood theme park.  But in the queue he explicitly states that one of his favorite attractions was “seeing the energy dinosaurs” and he can’t wait to see them again.   The joke, of course, is that his ride is now in the space those dinosaurs inhabited. It’s certainly a choice to have a protagonist canonically disappointed in your ride placement!

That said, I suppose the placement isn’t too bad from a practical standpoint.  It balances the large roller coasters between parks (this for Epcot, Tron and Space Mountain for MK, Everest for AK, and Rockin for HS) and I have to say I’m not too hurt about losing Universe of Energy for a ride this good.  It’s thematically inappropriate, but I feel it earns its place through sheer force of “but it is a truly excellent ride.”  Every piece except the location (and possibly the theme, if you absolutely hate the MCU) contributes to the experience.

The last, much pettier complaint I have is the lack of merch!  Mission Breakout, that perpetual ugly disappointment, has TONS of ride-specific merch that says the title, shows the ride façade, features ride-specific phrases, and so on.  Cosmic Rewind?  When I went, my options were a notepad, a keychain, and a toy model of the ride vehicle.  The rest of the merchandise was generic Guardians of the Galaxy-branded items or items themed to Xandar—which, while Xandar is the location of a significant portion of the ride, it also appears in the film, thus making the merch in question not quite ride-specific.  Half of the already-small merch shop was filled with generic Marvel items that weren’t even related to Guardians of the Galaxy!

West Coast Disney fans were so robbed.  DCA Tower of Terror was destroyed for a terrible, cheap GOTG re-theme; Florida not only got to keep their incredible Tower of Terror, but got THIS feat of art and engineering to represent their GOTG property.  This might legitimately be my second favorite ride of all time, only behind Tower of Terror itself.  It truly sucks to know that, as the result of Mission Breakout, the Anaheim property will never receive this ride. 

Disney can still make quality rides—not cheap re-themes—when they feel like it.  If only they did so more often.



Sunday, July 17, 2022

What's in a logo

 So, I can't believe I haven't posted something quite like this before!  Oh well, better late than never.

Of course, one of the most recognizable icons of the Tower of Terror is its HTH logo.  What fans might not realize at first glance, however, is that every iteration of the Tower has its own unique logo!  Unfortunately, Disney's own marketing and merchandising often muddies the waters, releasing generic merch with mixed up logos to multiple parks.  However, indeed, the intent seems to be that each version is acknowledged as unique, and gets an icon to match.


We'll start off with the first version: Florida's.  This one, much like the version of the ride it represents, is distinctly gothic in style.  The letters are in sharp, thin font and surrounded by dragons and a crown.  Here it is on the ride's unique lobby tapestry.


A while back, I made a cleaned up version in plain black and white for reference:

It's surprisingly difficult to find a plain image of this logo on the first few pages of google; I ended up making this reference from an old merchandise product photo of a mug or a coaster.  Anecdotally, this logo seemed to be rare on merchandise for a while, replaced by the simpler "just the shield" design intended for Paris and DCA.  However, thankfully Disney seems to have remembered this version again, as it reappeared on a 2022 set of Loungefly Minnie Ears sold at the Florida Parks.

Photo from minnieearcollectors.com, source


The next logo to debut was supposed to be Paris', but it was "stolen" by DCA.  Disney intended for Walt Disney Studios Paris to have a Tower of Terror from the start, fully designing the ride but acknowledging it needed to be built a bit after opening.  Still, knowing where the ride would be and what it would look like, Disney included this logo as an Easter Egg on a building near where they knew the Tower would emerge.  Unlike the gothic spikes of Florida, the newer design would feature a blocky art deco look.  Subsequently, the logo was pared down, losing the spiky dragons and crown.  Within the shield, a slightly different, thicker font was used for the lettering as well.

My 2016 photo of the DCA Tower logo banner, from likely my last-ever ride on the DCA Tower.

A plain version for reference.


So how did DCA end up with this design?  Quite frankly, by being something of a failure.  When DCA flopped, management scrambled to add a new thrill ride to draw more visitors, and the quickest solution was to delay Paris Tower further and send the already-planned design to California.  That said, the Paris and California versions were NOT perfect clones of each other; to save budget, Imagineers altered parts of the façade to be painted illusions rather than actual sculpted architecture, as eventually revealed by the infamous Mission Breakout paintjob (the elements in question are truly sculpted in the Paris version).  There's also the matter of DCA's unusual ride sequence I detailed here.  However, the general art deco look and logo were indeed cloned and given to California first.  There's some circumstantial evidence that there might have been a unique Tower design in the works for DCA, that was discarded in favor of stealing Paris' version when the park ended up more desperate than anticipated.

This "shield" logo is probably the most common one to appear across all Tower merchandise, regardless of which park or iteration of the ride it is supposed to represent.

Now, while we're talking about Paris...

2017 photo by Pyrokenisis

For the most part, Paris seems to use the original intended shield logo, as seen on its lobby banner.  However, note that the lobby banner is NOT identical to the one at DCA!

For the Paris Tower of Terror's 10th Anniversary celebration, Disneyland Paris released a new HTH design for limited edition merchandise, finally giving Paris its own unique logo again.  This is the rarest logo from what I can tell; it might have been limited JUST to that merch line.  At any rate, it took me quite a few google searches trying to find it; I was half convinced I dreamed it up!


Disney-released promo image

Black and white version to compare with the others

It's arguably the most elaborate logo, with extra spikey font, metallic finishes, and a Great Gatsby-styled background evoking hotel gates.


Given the fact that two H’s could stand for either Hotel Hightower or Harrison Hightower, this logo appears again in modified form in Hightower’s office. The wallpaper of Harrison Hightower’s office has this design: Two H’s made out of swords, entwined in the tail of a dragon.

re-creation of the wallpaper design found here

...And now we're back to dragons, I see! Well, now that we've come full circle, I hope you've enjoyed this little tour of the different icons for each hotel. Have fun spotting the different ones!

Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Tokyo DisneySea Tower of Terror Part 2: The Exterior Queue

            Hey, I really left you all standing outside of the building for a long time there, didn’t I?  Whoops… although, if you’ll notice, that last post was made in March 2020, and I think we all know that world events seriously interfered with everything around that time!  Well, better late than never, I suppose.

            To start off with, the Fastpass queue makes things easy for me in this section: there’s no exterior Fastpass queue!  Due to the layout of the building and the seemingly larger lobby setup, none of the Fastpass waits outside; it is entirely encased in the lobby.

            The exterior queue, therefore, is entirely for the standby line, and it’s quite large.  In fact, only once did I even encounter a wait time long enough to go to all the parts of it, and then it was so long that I had to leave the line in order to leave the park for the day at the time I needed to depart.  So, my experience with documenting the exterior queue was awkward and fragmentary; hopefully my explanation will still be sufficient.  All photography and diagram drawings are by me; photographs were taken in 2019.

            The overall layout consists of three main parts: the uncovered trellis area, the Garden of Reflection, and the Garden of India.  The layout is as such:

Image not to scale

            As seen in the diagram, upon entering the queue guests turn left into a corridor of trellises.  Unlike other Towers, the exterior queue does not really have any truly covered parts; the trellises do not have any plants on them.  The structure itself provided some shade, but certainly no shelter from rain, nor, I imagine, from any truly intense heat.  This is an odd choice, given that Japan does seem to have extreme weather from what I’ve read.

            The in-universe New York Preservation Society has hung banners from the trellises, hyping up the tale of Harrison Hightower and his mysterious fate for those planning on taking their tour of the abandoned hotel.

"What did Harrison Hightower find on his Final Expedition?"

"What Terror awaits in the 'Tower of Terror'?" Another view of the empty standby queue.
Themed banner on rope queue markers

            As you can see from the layout I sketched above, the initial entrance and final return of the full standby queue ran parallel to the front of the building, where on one side one could see stained glass windows and emergency exit doors on the exterior.  However, on the side facing the street… remember the three advertising boards I mentioned in the previous installment about the exterior?  If you thought the back side of them was packed with text, well, the main side seen from the queue itself absolutely overloads guests with lore.

At night, while returning to enter the lobby.  Another banner reads "Where is Harrison Hightower?"  The three informational boards are on the right in this picture, while the Tower building is on the left.

Another look at the boards

            Unfortunately, due to my aforementioned issues with getting a look at the full standby queue at all, the only photos I have of the boards were during a nighttime trip.  While they are sufficiently lit to see in person, of course photography makes things more difficult.  Furthermore, the line moved quickly enough and the boards were far enough away that zooming in to get clear photos of the text was quite the task.  I’ll present my clearest photos of each board here, although not all of the incredible bombardment of worldbuilding is readable.

            The farthest-right board, when facing away with from the building and towards the boards, has a header reading “A Tragic End!  An Abiding Mystery! Presented by the New York Preservation Society”.


            Unfortunately I don’t have the clearest photos of this board, to be able to read the full articles.  However, the “theme” of this display is headlines about Harrison Hightower’s disappearance.  Of course, Hightower is depicted with the likeness of Imagineer Joe Rhode, known to be the main designer behind this version of Tower of Terror.  Interestingly enough, he also designed Mission Breakout.  On one hand that makes sense, given that both are stories about obsessed, rich collectors, but on the other hand… how could someone design both one of the most visually beautiful Towers and the most incredibly ugly one???

            That said, one of the newspapers from this board also appeared on the fastpass entrance’s abbreviated lore board, which I photographed clearly, and part of the article from the top newspaper  on this board was readable.  It is dated January 1, 1900.

Harrison Hightower Disappears at ‘Tower of Terror’

Hotel Hightower Closed to the Public

New Yorkers are still reeling after the shocking events at Hotel Hightower last night.  What began as a joyous celebration ended in SADNESS for many Mahattanites.

11:59 pm—All day long people had streamed into the city on elevated trains and streetcars, to join the general throng in the streets as they celebrated the impending turn of the century.  They were standing on rooftops dancing in the parks, crowding onto balconies and stopping traffic as they began the exuberant count-down of the last few seconds of the nineteenth century, eager to welcome the twentieth century with cheers, toasts, and choruses of ‘Auld Lang Sine.”

 

            The rest of the article is obscured on the fastpass lore board, and unreadable in my photographs of this board.  However, visible snippets mention not just damage to the building and the disappearance of Hightower, but also injuries to bystanders, giving a sense of how destructive the curse became.

            The middle board has the header “A Glorious Beginning: Hotel Hightower”. 


            The overall theme of this board seems to be the grand opening of the hotel.  The large newspaper piece at the top shows that Hotel Hightower’s opening ceremony was front page news, that the elite of New York were in attendance, and that the hotel opened on January 24, 1892 after three years of construction.  I find the explicit reference to the elite interesting because it ties so well with the overall tarot card “tower” themeing that all versions of Tower of Terror, but especially this one, carry in their storylines.  The board also seems to have construction diagrams and photos.  The diagrams are accompanied by a note reading “The Hotel Hightower is a unique architectural monument”.  The construction photo of Hightower with two other men is captioned “Harrison Hightower III—Overseeing construction of Hotel Hightower—1890 With architect Oskar Kilnovski and site foreman Joe Cobb.”

            The entire text of the opening day article is fully rendered and readable… if you have a clear enough photo.  Or, you know, are there in person and stuck in line for long enough.  Unfortunately, I’m not so lucky.  I did, however, make a valiant attempt to transcribe it below, by seriously straining my eyes while zooming in to try and read the blurry text.  I really hope my effort is appreciated!

            Furthermore, other bits and pieces of this article are, once again, also visible on the lore board outside of the fastpass entrance.  I have attempted to stitch together the pieces into the proper order as best as possible.

            Quite a few errors are apparently present in the original text; others might result from my desperate attempt to transcribe a whole article from a blurry photo.  Hopefully this is understandable.

Hotel Hightower Grand Opening

Hightower’s Masterpiece Opens at Last

January 24, 1892 New York City, NY—Towering above Manhattan, the glorious Hotel Hightower has finally opened its doors to the public after three years of construction.  Harrison Hightower III, the “Dragon of Park Place”, reportedly conceived this hotel a personification of everything he stands for: Beauty, Power, Elegance, and Excellence.  The hotel and the man who built it are both prime examples of the [Note: yes, it cuts off like that]

PARADE DOWN FIFTH AVENUE

The Grand Opening Celebration began with a parade down Park Avenue.  It was an exotic event, featuring music and costumed peoples from various countries of the world.  The parade began with an impressive float depicting a massive globe of the earth.  The globe was impaled with a glittering sword with Hightower’s emblem on the hilt.  Occasionally the globe opened to reveal a shining pearl inside, being held by a beautiful lady in a diaphanous white gown.  Close behind followed a marching band from Colonia India.  After that, a Chinese dragon snaked its way down the street to the accompaniment of exploding fireworks.  This was followed by belly dancers from Arabia, accompanied by a small orchestra on a stand, pulled by Arabian horses.  This was followed by a group of Apache Indian ghost dancers and drummers.  These, in turn were followed by acrobats from Indonesia, chanting Maori warriors from New Zealand, and elegantly dressed geishas from Japan.  It was quite a strange collection of people, who reportedly had been brought from the far corners of the world for only one purpose: to march in this parade.

The final grouping of the parade featured Hightower himself.  He was preceded by a large group of men dressed in their traditional African garb, shivering in the freezing air.  They banged wildly, banging on drums and doing the most amusing dance.  Many of these men appeared oddly frightened, perhaps overwhelmed by the awesome sights and sounds of Manhattan.  Behind this group of villagers followed Hightower, grandly riding atop a giant African elephant, wearing a glorious white uniform and pith helmet with a tall feather waving in the wind.  Hightower’s elephant was surrounded by an honor guard of tough looking men, dressed in jungle camo[?], carrying rifles and flags with Hightower’s double-H emblem.  More than a few women were reported to have fainted[?] at the sight of Hightower on top of that elephant, his gleaming white beard shining in the sun.

Four brass bands from different boroughs were assembled around the hotel, all playing the “Hightower March” as he arrived.  The sound was nearly deafening.  The New York Police had quite a time holding back the crowds for Hightower’s arrival.  He rode up to a podium and gave a speech that was nearly drowned out by the cheering throng.  “People of New York, with my own two hands I have created this magnificent edifice, which I now give to you, that you may share in my greatness.”  Hightower cut the ribbon across the threshold with his cutlass, and stepped inside.

Invited guests started arriving in their private coaches as soon as the streets were clear.  There were the social elite of the city, including Mayor Chaplin and the city council.  Also on hand was President Benjamin Harrison, although he reportedly went straight to his room and slept through the night.  Every famous face in New York could be seen, except for Cornelius Endicott III, the second richest man in New York, who reportedly was not invited.  The guests list was so long that the hotel was filled to capacity.  The staff faced the monumental task of serving everyone with the efficiency and courtesy that Hightower demands.

In the evening, a grand ball was held in the Atlantis ballroom, with music provided by the impresario Joel N. Caesar [?] and his world famous orchestra.  The finest ladies of society proudly exhibited the latest fashions, and danced the Hightower Waltz with their elegantly attired husbands.  After 11pm, the women retired to bed, leaving the men to hold a special late night event.  Although reporters were not allowed into the event, we’ve been told that it was an intimate and sedate affair.  Harrison Hightower reportedly told humorous anecdotes about the construction of the hotel, and shared stories relating to the acquisition of various artifacts in the hotel.  This morning some New York newspapers are reporting scandalous rumors of dancing girls and drunken revelry.  Allegations that the event degenerated into an orgy of drunken lewdness are strongly denied by Hightower’s staff.  We believe that the rumors are exaggerations and lies, invented by Hightower’s business rivals, primarily Cornelius Endicott III, to give the hotel a black eye.  Hotel Hightower is surely the finest hotel in America, and perhaps the world.  If you plan to visit, you should know that the rooms have been booked solid for the next two months, so make your reservations early.

Poor planning was partially responsible for a small riot that followed.  It began as invited guests began to present their invitations at the door.  Thugs and rowdies who had infiltrated the crowd moved forward, intent on getting into the celebration.  A scuffle ensued, and the throng on the street followed the rowdies and within minutes the crowd pressed through the door and filled the lobby to capacity.  They gawked at the elegant interiors, knocked over valuable lamps, and tried to force their way into the main elevator.  Harrison Hightower and the New York Police eventually evicted the crowd from the hotel, but the streets were so blocked that carriages of invited guests couldn’t get through.  It took an hour, but finally the police broke up the small riot.  In the confusion, some of the parade marchers were forgotten.  Groups of them, still dressed in exotic outfits, were seen wandering in the cold park all day, apparently lost, confused, and unaware of their next destination.

 

            Okay, so, that was a lot.  But it also does a lot of establishing groundwork.  Hightower is a self-important jerk (he acts as if he created the whole hotel all by himself, rather than just financing it and stealing the artifacts for it) who sees other cultures and people as decorations for his “collection”, caring little about them being actually people (note how he just ditched his parade followers).  He tries to put on a good face to the public, but in private is much more prone to misbehavior (did anyone expect “an orgy of drunken lewdness” to appear in Disney canon?).  Hightower is also the richest man in New York, and as a result has a rivalry with the second-richest guy, Cornelius Endicott III.

            Also, note the mention of the riot.  There’s another article about the riot on the page, which also seemingly has fully rendered text, but unfortunately was unreadable in my photographs.  I suspect that whatever character wrote the main article in-story, however, is also a rich snob who loves Hightower and hates the “average” person, given the way they talk about the non-rich and how they’re so quick to absolve Hightower of any guilt regarding the potential orgy.

            Parts of the articles are blocked by the opening day feast menu.  The selections are, quite frankly, weird and gross.  Seriously, it’s some Fear Factor rejects.


The upper half of the board, with the opening article, if anyone else wants to attempt transcribing or reading it.

The lower half of the board.  Note the headline about the riot.

The upper half of the menu, with some super bizarre exotic dishes.  Ewww.

The lower half of the menu.  At least the haggis, stewed tomatoes, and mead are normal, recognizably edible dishes, if not the most appetizing things in the universe.

            Okay, now that we’ve had to envision the luxury of eating *checks notes* boiled camel’s feet, let’s move on to the third and final board.

            This one’s header reads “Harrison Hightower: A Towering Figure.”  The overall theme is about Harrison Hightower presenting himself as a pulp-action-hero, explorer-adventurer type.  Lots of toxic masculinity, made to look good by Hightower’s copious monetary funds.  Of particular note, however, is the newspaper page in the upper half that includes a photo of Harrison Hightower receiving the Shiriki Utundu idol and taking it from Africa.  I assume that this also has full canon text, but unfortunately none of my photos were close or sharp enough to even attempt a reconstruction from this board.  Thankfully, once again, the fastpass board came to the rescue in that regard!


            The lower half of the board has photos from Hightower’s world travels, as well as magazine covers that resemble pulp fiction publications.  A card beside one of the magazine covers explains they are “Just a few of Hightower’s popular adventure magazines, sharing his exploits with young readers.”  Huh, Hightower might not be the kind of person you want influencing young readers, but hey, this is taking place in the 1800s, so maybe there’s not much one can expect.
The lower half of the board

            As previously mentioned, the main article from this board, about Hightower returning from Africa with Shiriki Utundu, once again appears in pieces on the fastpass side’s lore board.  Only the headline, publisher’s note, and the last two columns of the article are on that board, but as it’s completely unreadable in my photographs of the full article, I transcribed what I could.  The newspaper is dated December 19, 1899.

Harrison Hightower Returning From Africa

Harrison Hightower III’s Congo River Expedition

Publisher’s note: “We hope you will enjoy this thrilling account of Harrison Hightower’s recent expedition.  We received this story by express delivery only a few days ago, sent to us directly from Harrison Hightower III himself from Africa.  You can almost feel the heat of the jungle coming off the page!”

[All text obscured until final two columns]

…was no longer smiling.  He [unreadable]-ly snatched the idol out of Hightower’s hands and placed it back on its altar.  Hightower had been given no choice but to take the idol by [unreadable; presumably “force”]

On his command, Hightower’s henchmen drew their hidden weapons, fully prepared to battle their way out of the village.  But the tribe simply stood there, staring [unreadable]-ly and expressionlessly as Hightower took Shiriki Utundu from its altar.  The ragged [unreadable] shards on the idol cut Hightower’s hand, and although the chief seemed to smile at the sight of Hightower’s blood, he

[obscured paragraph]

…primitive people, in his experience, did many strange and inexplicable things.  The interpreter said the idol might be cursed, but in the following days they discovered that Shiriki Utundu was a harbinger of good luck.  The tribe that had pursued them earlier saw Hightower holding the idol aloft and immediately tossed their weapons in the river.  They took the expedition back to their village and gave Hightower everything he asked for.  The idol had the same effect in every village the expedition visited subsequently… [rest of article obscured on fastpass board]

 

          Another fun fact, mentioned on the fastpass board and likely the lore boards here, is that after Hightower’s disappearance, only Shiriki Utundu and Hightower’s fez were found in the elevator.

            Whew, okay, that was a lot of information to cover!  Including a lot of important lore about the discovery of the cursed idol, Hightower’s inflated ego, and the construction of the hotel.  And we’re barely even into the queue!  Thankfully, even though there’s a lot of detail in the gardens overall, most of it is not quite so text-heavy as those boards!

            The next portion of the gardens is the Garden of Reflection.  The garden’s name is listed on a plaque in front of a statue on the wall opposite the trellised area.  The exact way one wanders the gardens presumably depends on exactly how crowded a particular day is, so I won’t tackle this necessarily how you’d view it in line.  Instead, I’ll go more element-by-element.  The layout of the Garden of Reflection is thus:


            Note that some layout pieces are uncertain because, for some reason, I neither noted their locations in my field notes nor took photos that clearly indicated their position in the layout.  I guessed the context based on other photos surrounding it in my camera roll.

            As you can likely tell from my crude map, the garden is filled with planters, statues, and some informational plaques.  The most common type of figure is sphinxes; two flank the entrance to the garden from the trellis section, and yet another sphinx is graced by the main title plaque of the garden.  In addition to all being from faraway locales, the statues all seem to depict important or regal figures, potentially as a reflection of how Hightower sees himself.  The intimidating skull statue, however, might depict a more threatening deity, perhaps foreshadowing of Hightower’s fate at the hands of such a character.  That skull statue is also two-faced, interestingly enough, much like Hightower seemed to present a different “face” in public and private.  I am unsure if any of these art pieces are replicas of any specific real art pieces at this time.

            The “informational” plaques about the plants are amusingly disconcerting and/or ironic.  Sure, they start out fairly normal, with a standard warning to not touch the ornamental plants.  However, things get wilder from there.  One warns that the plants are poison and that the reader should be at least 10 feet away—which, given the queue placement and how close one has to be to read the plaque, the reader is definitely not at a safe distance.  Yet another plaque warns that the blooms of the plant it labels cause madness.  Yet another plaque says the garden has won an award… and is placed in front of a broken, decrepit statue.

            One of the tree planters in the center of the garden seems to have taken damage from the curse of Shiriki Utundu.  Unlike the other two tree planters, the ground around it is cracked, and the tree within is leaning at a precarious angle, supported by a wooden frame.  I can’t help but notice that the more destroyed parts of the garden—where the tree is uprooted, and the statues are not merely fallen, but broken, are towards the back of the garden, deeper into the queue, almost as if the atmosphere is getting gradually more foreboding.

            In the center is an interesting tableau of an oil painting in-progress, with the easel and oil paints still set up.  It depicts a young woman in a gold gown standing in front of one of the statues in the garden.  It is a wintertime scene, based on the fact that there is snow on the statue and plants, and the woman seems dressed for cold weather.  The statue in the painting is the one with its head broken off, at the back wall near the exit of the garden.  In fact, one can even see the statue from where the easel is, the artist’s view.  Was this statue also a victim of the destruction of the curse?  Why was this painting left here—clearly for a while, if the scene depicted is now in decay?  Is the woman in the artwork of any significance?  Given that DisneySea is packed with more lore than a single human mind can comprehend, my guess would be that this woman is secretly some major character that probably has a novel’s worth of backstory, locked away in obscure opening-day promotional material.  I, however, could not glean who she was.  If you have any clues, let me know.

            And, well, I’ve done a lot of explaining in text here… perhaps a photo tour would give a better impression of the place?


A look in at one side of the Garden of Reflection, showing the connection with the trellis area, the skull statue corner, and one of the entry sphinxes.  Photo taken from outside the queue.

A view of the other half of the Garden of Reflection, taken from outside the queue and through the bars of the gate that has the warning sign.

A view from inside the trellis area, showing where the trellis area corners around the side of the building.  The back of the skull statue, with its second face, is visible on the left.  The entry from the trellis area and into the Garden of Reflection is also visible, approximately just past where the "Tower of Terror" banner hangs.

The back of the skull statue, with its angry face

The part of the trellis area that runs along the side of the building, with the Garden of Reflection on the left.  The banners read "Do sinister forces dwell in the 'Tower of Terror'?" and "What strange occurrence closed the Hotel Hightower?"

The entry to the Garden of Reflection, through the colonnade.

The back of the left side entry sphinx, and a side view of the skull statue, showing how it has two faces.  Could it be symbolic of how Hightower was two-faced and very destructive?  Usually I'd say coincidence, but given how much detail and characterization went into this ride as a whole, it might not be.

The front side of the skull statue, with a more serene face.

Garden of Reflection light fixture, with the first botanical plaque beside it.

The first botanical plaque.  It features the mundane message, "Keep to the path.  Ornamental plants--do not touch."

The statue of the European queen

The back side of the gate with the warning sign, with a plaque featuring a Greek god's head on the column beneath the double-H logo.

The fallen Egyptian-styled statue, with another botanical plaque.  This plaque reads "Syringa foetida: Do not inhale, do not stand within 10 feet of plant."  The dark humor, of course, is that in order to read the plaque, one would have to be well within 10 feet.  Hmm, perhaps the real story is that we're all hallucinating from toxic plant spores and it's a totally normal hotel?  Haha, I jest.

A planter urn and a side view of the sphinx that has the garden's title plaque

Front view of the title plaque sphinx.

Garden of Reflection title plaque.  It states, "Garden of Reflection: Come share this tranquil bower where I have oft unshouldered my great burden to pause in quiet reflection--Harrison Hightower."  Once again, there's Hightower's massive ego, talking about his "great burden" of being so rich and influential.  Also, it's a bit ironic since he doesn't seem the type to actually truly do much self reflection.

A view into the center of the garden, with the art easel scene

A closer look at the art scene.  Note the statue from the painting visible, but now broken, in the back.  Does anyone know if the woman in this artwork is a significant character?

A closer look at the paints and palette

A look back at the entrance of the garden from towards the center, with a view of the front of one of the entry sphinxes.

A better look at the banner.  "Now Exhibition! Harrison Hightower's Private collection: Art & Artifacts from Around the World!"  Interesting that the grammar error made it to print.

A look up at the Tower from the center of the Garden of Reflection

A detail I noticed from this angle.  At the top of each drop shaft window, there's a sculpted detail of Medusa's head!

Going back to that wall opposite the garden's entry, here's the statue of the Mayan or Aztec king, with another botanical plaque beside it.

Close-up of the botanical plaque beside the Mayan king.  It reads, "Do not touch: contact with bloom will induce madness."

            Wait… I proposed the idea that the whole ride is a hallucinogenic trip as a joke but this is the second reference to the plants having… questionable effects upon the guests.  Also, given that the main plaque mentioned Hightower using this garden “for reflection”… is this a recreational drug garden!?  Yes, I know that wouldn’t be very “Disney” but they did mention an alleged orgy earlier.  But intentionally used as drugs or not, the garden seems canonically hallucinogenic.  Was Shiriki Utundu just a normal statue and Hightower on the worst drug trip of his life?  Behold: my worst park theory, “it was all a drug trip.”  In case it wasn’t already clear, no, I do NOT take that theory seriously.


The broken remains of a statue, with another botanical plaque.  This plaque reads, "President's Award for Best Show Garden--Waterfront Park Horticultural Society, 1898"

The now-headless broken statue that was featured in the painting at the center of the garden.  The exit into the Garden of India is visible in the background.

The leaning tree with the cracked concrete and broken planter.

Wooden structure supporting the leaning tree.

A view of the exit into the Garden of India, with the multi-armed statue and a bit of the right side sphinx visible.

The multi-armed goddess.  You can also see the top of the drinking fountain at the bottom of the picture.

The Garden of Reflection drinking fountain.

The last botanical plaque in the Garden of Reflection.  It reads, "My gardeners toil day and night to lay this precious gift at your feet--an incomparable assemblage of nature's most delicate treasures."  I find it interesting that Hightower actually gives credit to someone other than himself for once, here.

            And thus concludes our tour of the Garden of Reflection!  However, we’re still not done with the outdoor queue.  After passing through the Garden of Reflection, guests find themselves in the Garden of India.  This second garden is smaller than the Garden of Reflection, but still has quite a few interesting details, and affords a rather beautiful up-close view of the side of the Tower building itself!  The layout is thus:

            The garden is essentially a loop around one central planter, U-turning around to reenter the trellis area while flush along the side of the main Tower building.  One wall of the garden is the building wall itself.

            Guests enter through a gap in the stone wall, with pillars that feature scowling gargoyles and a plaque that specifies the garden’s title under yet another double H logo: Garden of India.  “Here I have gathered works of enduring beauty and mystery from distant and fabled kingdoms to fashion a kingdom of my own—Harrison Hightower,” the plaques read.  Does anyone else feel like these are almost a dark reflection of Disneyland and the Magic Kingdom’s iconic “Here you leave today…” plaques?  After all, those parks were also about wealthy men building their own kingdoms, albeit with supposedly more benevolent intentions than Hightower seems to have.


Entry column with plaque

Close-up of the plaque

The top of both entry columns, with their distinct gargoyles.

            Such is the detail in this queue, that the Garden of India even has distinct pavement from elsewhere in the waiting areas.


The change in the concrete
            Like the Garden of Reflection before it, the Garden of India also has themed “botanical plaques” that provide some interesting bits of lore.  Also like the Garden of Reflection, the first plaque starts out things rather mundanely.
The first plaque, located in the central planter.
            The first plaque reads “My gardeners toil to bring this beauty to you—please mind where you walk.”  Okay, normal so far.
A look at the left side of the garden, while entering.  Note the detailed theming even in the stile of the walls.  You can see a bit of the fancy "hotel staff only" door as well.

The right side of the garden, looking across the central planter at the Tower wall, which features the peacock fountain, stairs, and wall art.


The fancy "Hotel Staff Only" exit (?) door.  Note the snake detail over the door.
            Snakes seem to be a running theme in the Garden of India, with the one over this door being the first of many.  Could this be a symbol of Hightower being a “snake”?  Maybe that’s over-thinking it and it’s just meant to be spooky.  It is interesting, though, that the Hightower storyline is incredibly interconnected with the Indiana Jones Adventure storyline, where snakes are significant.  Numerous crates labeled for Hightower are found around the Indiana Jones area at DisneySea, as well as in the queue for the Indiana Jones Adventure ride.
The snake god statue.  More snakes!


The planter with the "Fire Blossom" plaque

A close-up of the "Fire Blossom" plaque.  It reads: "Fire Blossom, Flagare Americanus--I alone survived the expedition to bring this priceless specimen to my garden--Harrison Hightower."  So much braggadocio and callous disregard for human life all in one, there, Hightower.

A look back into the central planter, with the "Night Orchid" plaque.  The entrance from the Garden of Reflection is in the background.

Detail of the plaque.  It reads, "Night-Blooming Orchid (Epiphyllum Nocturna Hightower)--Gift from a grateful Asian potentate."

The Indian-styled arch in the back corner.

Overall view of the Tower wall

More detail on the Tower wall

Detail of the relief on the wall, depicting a battle in a jungle environment, fought by soldiers riding horses and elephants.

Detail of the peacock fountain.

            Interestingly, the peacock fountain depicts a peacock being surrounded by, or perhaps attacked by, snakes.  So, once again, the garden has a snake theme.  Also, while I previously mentioned that snakes might represent Hightower’s devious nature, perhaps here he is the peacock—proud and fancy, and about to succumb to sinister forces.


A look up at the Tower building from the Garden of India.  Look at all the detail in those roundels!  The brickwork!  The windows!
            
            Right before guests exit the Garden of India, there’s one last detail along the Tower wall.

A shallow alcove with a bench and a grimacing stone face above it.


Another angle of the alcove that shows more of the stone face

            Guests then proceed back into the trellis area, to trail back along the side of the Tower building towards the front entrance.


The exit back into the trellis area

Reentering the trellis area for the return trip towards the lobby

On the way back to the front of the building, guests pass the windows of the lobby, some more shallow alcoves with benches and wall art, and a pair of emergency exit doors.


Here's this picture again, to show a daylight look at the empty trellis area along the front of the building, showing some of the windows, benches, and wall art.

Emergency exit doors

            Finally, at the front of the building, guests reach the entry foyer, which is flanked by two smaller arched areas on either side of the main foyer.  Each has a fancy chandelier hanging from the ceiling, in front of either stained glass windows or the glass doors of the lobby.


Ceiling and chandelier of the arched area just before the entry foyer

Going into the entry foyer.  Not the greatest photograph, but I wanted to give a sense of spatial orientation, showing how those areas connect.

The entry foyer

Column detail and sign advertising photopass in the entry foyer

A look at the details of the upper arch and chandelier in the entry foyer

Signage indicating the fastpass and standby entrances, as well as a warning about emergency lights.

Now we can finally enter the lobby!  And if you thought the gardens were detailed… you’re in for a treat!


Entering the lobby, at last!